My kid can do WHAT?!? (downloadable PDF)

A favorite term that I picked up while parenting was “It’s time to re-group!”  I learned this phrase from friend, Priscilla Stewart who, with husband John, had something like 47 kids. She seemed relatively calm and focused and her kids were remarkably obedient.  So I gleaned as much from her as I could.

I discovered that re-grouping can easily be done once a month, once a week, or even once a day.  There are a few things that necessitated re-grouping for my family:

  1. I was yelling and no one was listening
  2. Junk (toys, shoes, game controllers, clothes, etc.) covered the floor, and/or
  3. Spontaneous crying (me, not the boys)

Then the fam was called together for a meeting which covered three things: 

  1. Specific problems identified (i.e., there is junk all over the floor and it ain’t mine)
  2. Expected behavior spelled out (i.e., when you’re finished using your junk put it away)
  3. Consequences clearly defined (i.e., if you don’t, it’ll go in the Buy Back Box)

Their job was to obey.  My job was to HELP them obey. Kids learn quickly.  They follow our lead.  They can learn to ignore the yelling as well as repetitive (and idle) threats.

Kids also love boundaries.  LOVE THEM.  The actually CRAVE them.  No, they won’t say, “Mom, I desire boundaries, please,” but they really, really do want them.

Savvy little creatures they are.

They can also DO STUFF; LOTS more stuff than we require of them.

One time I went to friend Leanne‘s home and noticed her 5-year-old daughter, Foy, was emptying the dishwasher.  With my mouth agape and I managed to splutter, “She can DO that?!?

Leanne laughed and said, they can do A LOT more than we think they can!

With that in mind I ask several mom-friends what THEIR kids were able to do.  TA-DA, the results are this compilation  of age-appropriate things that kids can actually do!

My kid can do what!?!” is printable [Click here]

As a bonus (I love that word) there are eleven tried and true IDEAS at the end of that document, such as the BUY BACK BOX that is mentioned above.

It may be time to re-group….and this compiled list is a great starting point!

[YOU are invited to share your ideas and insights in the comment section below.]


I do not believe in discipleship

The concept of discipleship was ingrained in me early on:

Who is discipling you? and who are you discipling? were familiar questions.

It was normal to be in a discipleship group–a group that taught the ways of Jesus. The motive was (and is) pure and good.

However, over the years, I have discovered that neither the words ‘discipleship’ nor  ‘discipling’ are in the Bible. From all I can surmise, we made up those words over time to describe what we are doing.

Apparently we in Christendom, pure heartedly, have veered off course. Way off course. Let me explain my point of view.

At age 24, I went to seminary in Fort Worth, Texas. I had been working with teenagers since I was 19. I had quite a bit of favor with teenagers (youth) but no education in that area. The next seemingly apparent step was to earn my Masters in Religious Education.

Early on during my time at this fine institution of higher learning, I found a church that I liked.  What I really, really liked most about this church was my Sunday School teacher. His name was Dr. Stan Lee. He and his wife, Marlene, were, in real life, missionaries in a foreign land. For some reason, though, they were temporarily at this church. While there, Dr. Lee taught Sunday School.

Each Sunday I, along with a few others, went early just so we could watch him as he prepped to teach. He would stand in front of two chalkboards for a bit and just stare at them.

And then, as if an unseen checkered flag dropped, he began to write—he wrote and wrote until both chalkboards were filled up. And the words he wrote were full of RAW LIFE. Then Dr. Lee took the next 45 minutes or so and spoke about all the words on the board. Again, LIFE. I was mesmerized, challenged, and hungry for more!

One Sunday I got up the nerve to wait after class to ask Dr. Lee one simple question, “will you disciple me?”

Side note: I was naïve about the obvious taboo male/female discipleship thing. However, I was very pure hearted and eager to get more of this life-filled teaching, which is what I believed discipleship was.

Awkwardness appeared. Dr. Lee looked angst. Yes, my query definitely troubled him.

He looked away, looked back at me and looked away again. He opened his mouth, closed it, and after a few more seconds, he spoke slowly and methodically and this is what he said: “Only one disciples. And his name is Jesus. I disciple no one.”

I smiled politely, curtsied and excused myself. (Okay, I didn’t curtsy, but I did hightail it out of there.)

I was so embarrassed. What the heck did he mean?? I had asked a very common Christian-type question and he slammed me.

Yet, I heard what he said. I thought about it a lot. And over the days, weeks, months, and years to come, it resounded. It resonated.

And it altered my life’s trajectory. 

That very day, Dr. Lee contributed to making me a disciple as well as giving me a much greater understanding to actually what making a disciple meant and means.

“Go and make disciples…” was the very thing that Jesus told all of us to do in, what we call, the Great Commission.  Disciple means a devoted follower. Dr. Lee didn’t mind teaching me; he simply did not want me to follow him.

Jesus did NOT tell me (or any of us) to disciple anyone.

If someone is discipling me, I am following them.

If I disciple someone, then they are following me.

If I am making disciples (devoted followers), then I am pushing them (or compelling them) to follow the One and only person that God wants us to follow, that is Jesus.

Over time, I have learned what it means to go straight to Jesus. I am still learning how to walk with him and talk with him and most of all, listen to and follow him.  

I have learned that he is life and gives his life freely. I have learned that his yoke (teachings) are easy (oh, so easy) and the burden (expectations) he places on me is oh. So. Light.

I am his disciple. And the way I make disciples is to push others (believers and unbelievers alike) to him. Again, I am here to push people to him, not to bring them to me.

Yes, I teach. (And listen to other’s teachings.)

Yes, I mentor. (And have a few mentors that I can call on.)

Yes, I make disciples. (That is now normal, and very easy.)

But, no, I do not disciple, because that is not what he asks me to do.

Thank you, Dr. Lee, for not discipling me, but instead for doing what all of us are called to do: for (contributing to) making me a disciple.

My thoughts on Karma (in 399 words)

Bigot! Racist! Idiot! Bully!

The words fly more easily through fingertips than they do through lips.

It is soooo easy to type them and even feels more powerful to add a hashtag: #bigot

I read, I cringe, and then I hide the very post that made the person who posted it feel so righteous–simply because I don’t want to see it over and over. And as I hide it, I wonder, “would they say what they just posted to that person’s face?”

In other words, would THEY want to be treated the way that they are treating that politician, that celebrity, that official, their co-worker, their fellow student or that bozo in the other car?

 see someone scream racist from my Facebook feed and I wonder if they even know the heavy meaning of that particular word? And, in using that word, do they realize that they are actually segregating, as well as categorizing, themselves? It is frightening.

These loaded words are strong. And online, there is no takey-backy!

At the very time the #bekind movement is rising, our culture is feeling more and more entitled, and empowered, to voice opinions about anything and anyone at anytime.  All of us have opinions. Few, if any of us, should so flagrantly voice them…especially in a public forum.

One day my son overheard me quip, “they’d better be careful—what goes around comes back around…”

He said, MOM!? Do you believe in Karma?”

I thought for a few seconds and said, “Yes, I do. But God invented karma: ‘you reap what you sow.’ Somehow that got a name.”

Yup, the rants that we perceive we are entitled to make, will come back around. #karma

So I have taken it upon myself to make a to consider list (simply because lists are trendy!):

Five Things to Consider before you Post and One Good Suggestion 

  1. Do you really know the true meanings of the words that you are hashtag-ing?
  2. Is adding your opinion online important enough to categorize yourself? 
  3. Would you say that wonderful quippy zinger to that person’s face?
  4. Is your rant actually unveiling a bully?
  5. Would you mind if this person posted your words about you?

Good suggestion: Read through your posts and see if (and which of) your friends are:

  • liking your post?
  • ignoring your post? (ouch)

And remember: #treatothersthewayyouwanttobetreated

Really. Even online. Especially online!

and, please, #bekind