I married a 12-year-old

I have a theory.  I believe that everyone has an age that is their SOUL-AGE, or the age that they feel is the real them.   It is an age that they have “felt” for nearly all of their post-adolescent life (with the exception of cross-fit participation and heart-wrenching breakups.)   

My 12-year old husbandMy soul is “me” under my recognizable skin and is who I really am.  Therefore, my “soul-age” is the age that I approach LIVING LIFE.

This soul-age theory was one of the many things that my now 52-year-old husband discussed while we were dating.  He said that he almost always felt like a 12-year-old kid (especially when he got his hair cut).  But at the same time, he says that he feels like an old soul.  (And since he acts much more like an OLD SOUL than a 12-year-old,  I married him!)My old soul.  I was 25 then...but felt so 23!

I tried my soul-age theory out the other night after a funeral (I know, terribly tacky, but I drew a line and didn’t take any selfies with my pals!)   I digress.  Anyhow, after a brief explanation, I asked several people what their soul-age was. Most of the responses were surprisingly quick:

Reed Ingram, a 52-year-old friend and small business owner, said he knew exactly what I was talking about and said that he constantly feels 18.  His wife, Karen said she felt 30.  Her Aunt Mary Jane, an engaging 64-year-old, said that she felt 32.  Now Karen’s 24-year-old nephew, Daniel Mathewson, said that he felt 81.  The verbal backlash he received from all of the 50-somethingers upon stating that, caused him to change that to 80. (Really!?)

Daniel and his young bride, Jenna, BOTH said that they felt like “old-souls,”  Jenna stating that, on her insides,  she always felt 62.  She went on to elaborate, saying that she didn’t like technology and wanted a simple stick phone. (Really!?)  She added with a grin, “I just can’t wait to do water aerobics!”   When I mentioned that I felt 23 all of the time she went pensive on me, look off wistfully and said, “Ah, 23….that was a good year.”  Jenna is 24.

When chatting on the phone with an extremely active couple that are soon to be married 60 years, the 81-year-old husband quickly said that he was 15 (that is also how old he was when he started college ‘back in the day.’)  His 83-year-old bride said that she had always felt 45.  She works in an office and can get more done in a day than most 4o-somethings!

My sister-in-law, Susan, says that she has felt 30 ever since her little brother (my husband) was born.  He is six years her junior and she has felt responsible for him  since day one.  My 26-year-old son, Ty, said that he feels 26.  But, he added, that at 18 he felt (drum rolls, please) 18.  He was the only one that I asked that said he has always felt the age that he presently is.

Last week I casually posed my theory to the men at our State Farm office.  Branton, our agent who is 33, said that he use to always feel young until he got his present job.  So now, since responsibility is necessary, he feels his age, indicating that it happened rather quickly.

I have had this theory for years and years. For a while I wondered if it was simply becasue I was immature.  But then I realized that a soul-age was more of a mindset.23 in pink! (I think)

I truly do feel 23 almost ALL of the time . For instance, I always want to dance (I never do), I prefer hanging around younger people (I usually do).  When I go shopping I am drawn to clothes that college students wear, even going so far as to try on those cute little dresses (heavy sigh upon seeing myself in the mirror.)  I get bored easily (yes, I pick up my phone too much), and I am constantly shocked when I look in the mirror at the end of the day and see a 55-year-old woman looking back at me. (WHAT to do!?)  

For me 23 was and is the  ideal age.  A 23 year old is a bit naive, is constantly expectant, and can allow everything and/or anything to be up for consideration.  (Note: I said “consideration”, not “trial and error”. Twenty-three year olds tend not to grasp consequences.  I do.)   A 23 year old also believes that they have the world by the tail.  I have, over time, realized that only aging and/or God will tweek that perspective.  (Aging does have it’s benefits!)

My soul is content at knowing it’s age, or rather is content at living life here.

It has been fun and intriguing to ask a variety of people what their soul-age is.  It just makes me love life even more!


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12 thoughts on “I married a 12-year-old

  1. I’m 41 and still feel I’m 25. And yes I get scared walking by the mirror, always drawn to younger clothes, and I want to dance every minute of thd day, but usually just a few minutes everyday. I remember having this conversation in AL with you too. It was intriguing then!!

    • Clarissa! YOU REALLY ARE 25! YES, I have been pondering for years, but only in the last several weeks have I been able to come up with “SOUL-AGE!” Love ya!

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